One of my favorite coaching books is “InSideOut Coaching: How Sports Can Transform Lives” by Joe Ehrmann. Ehrmann does an outstanding job of laying out the difference between “transactional” and “transformational” coaching. This concept applied to many of our Down Relationships (see Up, Over and Down) and can be summed up as:
Transactional – You do your part and all do my part. You perform how I want you to and I’ll show you that I care about you. You win the game and I’ll be proud of you. However, transactional relationships are not unconditional, the way transformational ones are.
Transformational – I care about you regardless of the results. I want the best for you and I’m not going to change how much I want that for you, even if you are not producing the things I want from you. I’m here for you and you don’t have to earn my love.

If you have “Down Relationships” a great question to ask yourself is, “Am I transactional or transformational with the people I am over?” Answering this can change everything!

Below is the trailer for a powerful video that Ehrmann is a part of.

WARNING: A little language in the trailer.